Joshua
by HellsingDog
Summary: Just a bunch of crazy stories. But the story is more on Joshua's thoughts and feelings for Natasha.
1. Thoughts of Jealousy

Disclaimer: I do not own fire emblem

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"Thoughts of jealousy"

Joshua sat by the campfire staring jealously at Knoll and Natasha sitting just opposite to him. He had lost interest in almost everything. Having a duel with Marisa, practicing with Artur and even gambling with his comrades. "I'm just not in the mood" he reasoned. Not even the dance of the charming Tethys could take his eyes away from the two. He was watching them through the dancing fire. His eyes focused on Natasha. The touch of light on her face brings out her fairness and her golden hair, a perfect match to those tired deep, blue eyes which had caught his attention when he first saw her in Serafew.

He so wanted to impress her, to be the only man for her. But as their group increase, so does his rivals. There's that cavalier with his sissy bag. Joshua just couldn't figure out why Natasha seemed to be impressed by such a thing. It's nothing compared to his bag of coins. Then Seth, who should just stick to his princess and away from Natasha. How he regretted not killing the paladin back in Serafew when he had the chance. But of course, he could'nt, for he was weak back then, he admitted to himself shamefully. Then that wyvern guy, who tried to act all sweet, using some injured kitten as his props, or so Joshua thought. In fact, Joshua was pretty convinced that Cormag was the one who _actually_ injured the defenseless creature.

And now, that shaman, Knoll. At first he thought the mage would'nt be a threat. Just yesterday on the battlefield, he saw him talking to Natasha and he heard him say that they are '_Incompatible_'— but whatKnoll meant was their disciplines

"_**Incompatible?!**_" Joshua scoffed at the thought. "_You call __**that**__ incompatible?!" _his eyes began to glare at Knoll, who in the moment, was talking to the cleric.

Joshua can't hear them, since the music "Tethys" was playing while Tethys dances in front of Gerik who was sitting beside him.

He bit his lip as he saw Natasha reach for Knoll's hand.

"So that's why you hated visiting our temple" Natasha said with sympathy.

"Not just your temple, all Temples!" Knoll retorded "that's the same reason why I never thought of joining those clergymen. I was afraid that because of my name they'll make me ring bells or sound a knell every funeral" he sighed "I don't want to be a bell ringer"

"Nobody does. Oh, but it's not your fault Master Knoll"

"Yes I know. So I thought if they were to make me sound a knell then I'd rather be a mage" he said in a serious tone. "As I've said before, you divine worshippers think that we mages are merely fools blinded by dark arts. But being a mage enlightened me. By acquiring Knowledge I found another meaning to my name"

"What is it?" she asked anxiously.

"Eminence" he answered proudly. His fist clenched tight in the air "Loftiness, fame, high repute and…" he paused. Pride vanished from his face "…a small round hill"

She blinked "Oh..."

Knoll felt a sudden shiver. He looked around to see what could've caused this awkwardness, and then he saw Joshua, giving him the Death glare. Knoll smirked in reply. This came as a challenge in Joshua's side, for then he saw Knoll took the cleric's hand. _Now what is he doing? Is he… proposing?!_ Joshua's jealousy reached his head that it formed a lot of imaginations and he couldn't decide which of them was true. If he could only stop the music so he could hear them ..._but where was it coming from?_ He looked around and mysteriously, he found nothing. No musicians, just some of his comrades enjoying the night. _Freaky_.

"See that line? That means your mom is a girl. I can also see in this line that you got your golden hair from your parents" he said confidently.

"Isn't that the obvious?" she gave a soft laugh.

"You finally smiled. I'm sorry for what I've said earlier. I got…emotional" he smiled "Am I that bad in palm reading?"

"No, you were very precise actually"

Feeling hopeless, Joshua took a deep breath then laughed pathetically at himself. No one had made him feel this way before. For him, emotions were a hindrance to work. Maybe gambling will snap him back, fooling Innes seemed to be a good Idea. So he went back to his tent and took his bag of coins. As he was halfway out he saw Natasha heading toward her tent. He immediately approached her.

"Hi Natasha"

She smiled at him "Hello Joshua...gambling again?" she asked when she saw the bag of coins.

"What? Oh this? Nah… I-uh… Just a sec" he pulled out his lucky coin from his pocket

"Let's make a bet"

"Oh, but Joshua I'm afraid I don't have that much money with me"

"No, no. I don't want that. We bet on other things. Let's say, uh… If I win, you spend some time with me by the campfire. We'll talk about stuff and maybe gamble some more and…" Then he noticed the surprised look on Natasha. He blushed then he cleared his throat "Heh, the others… got tired gambling with me" which he knew, was not true "So, are you in?"

Natasha took a moment, then answered "I guess so. I have a day off tomorrow so staying up late is not a problem"

Joshua turned away to conceal his happiness. _YES!_ he screamed in his head. He faced her again "so what will it be? Heads or--"

"Whatever are you two doing?" L'Arachel interrupted. "Are you gambling? Oh such abomination. Natasha you're a cleric, you must know, gamble is a boil on the skin of mankind! You must resist it!"

"Really?" the cleric asked.

"What?! No! Natasha come here let me cover those ears" and so he did. Then he faced L'Arachel "You! You tell us those things but you keep gambling with me!"

"Oh but that's only in the name of righteousness. Which reminds me, since you already have that coin of yours, let's have some of that coin toss again" she said without a trace of shame.

"Now? But I--"

"Of course now! Come! I'll bet this white gem if you like" the woman persisted.

He looked at Natasha who suddenly smiled at him. "It's alright Joshua. At least there's still others who would like to gamble with you. Besides you'll be able to win more from them than from me." Then she told them good night and disappeared in her tent.

"Come now, Joshua" L'Arachel then headed towards the others.

Joshua stood there still. Looking down at his with feet His eyes, soulless. He remembered the last words on the clerics lips then he murmured silently…

"But you're the prize that I want"

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Thanks for reading. Leave a review please. This is my first Fic and I'm planning to add another chapter. So go ahead and tell me what I need to know, wrong spellings, grammars, use of comma, and other things. Thanks.


	2. Hidden skin

A/N: I was looking at my bishop Natasha the other day and she's so cute! Even though she's drowning with all that robe like she was too small for it. But that's not the point! The thing is she must have voluptuous curves hidden beneath her robe. I mean heck, she along with Myrrh and Tethy's can't even rescue anyone in the Game! Myrrh is a given because she's still a child(kind of) but look at Tethys! And why does she always cover her front with her veil? Suspicious... Heh, I'm getting carried away. But that's just my opinion though, you can still think whatever you like.

Thank you Black lotus flower for your review!! I'm so happy!!

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"Hidden skin"

It was so hot. Thank heavens it was her day-off. Natasha could only pray for the safety of their comrades on the battlefield with this dreadful heat. Since Syrene wasn't finished cooking her special frelian fish yet, Natasha had decided to wait inside her tent and had removed her veil and robe because she felt like she was frying in it. She left her camisole on, the garment that she usually wore beneath her robe. It reveals more of her skin for it was sleeveless and it only covered her body from shoulders down to a portion of her thighs. She felt refreshed as gentle wind rubbed to her skin and she let out a satisfied sigh. She lay down hugging her robe just in case if anyone were to call her, she could put them on immediately. But the heat was humming a lullaby, alluring her to sleep and in seconds she was in slumber.

_**Lunch is ready!**_ Joshua suddenly stopped his sword fighting with Marisa and had volunteered to call the cleric before anyone would. He called her name twice outside her tent but she didn't answer. _Maybe she's not there?_ Joshua tossed his coin… heads. He decided to go in and was shocked when he saw the sleeping cleric hugging her robe beside her and her legs, bare. His heart beat came faster and faster and faster until he could no longer catch up to it. He covered his nose as blood gushed out. Panicked when she slightly moved, he immediately got out of the tent.

What was the big deal? Not like it was his first time seeing a woman's legs. Marisa's skirt was, no doubt, shorter than that and he didn't mind Tethys whenever she danced, and hers was the most revealing of all! His breath was deep and shaking as he tried to control his heart. The thing was, it was _**hers**_, Natasha's that he saw. He thanked his lucky star for he was the one to pick her up. He had always protected her and had secretly guarded her. There were even times that whenever they were caught up in the rain, he would immediately get a cloak from the supplies and wrap her in it. He walked dizzily away from her tent and then bumped into gerik.

"Ah, Joshua. Sorry didn't see y-whoa! That blood man?" Gerik asked with a raised brow.

"Wh-what?" Joshua stared dizzily at him.

The mercenary pointed his index finger toward his own nose. "The blood?"

"Ack!" Joshua covered his nose again. "It was… hot." He said, still half dizzy.

"I know what you mean."

"What?! Then y-you… you…" Joshua's voice was shaking. _He saw her?_

"Yeah, I can barely take it myself."

"Darn it Gerik! Why does this have to happen?" Joshua slowly reached for his sword then positioned to his killing stance which he only does whenever he would fight a very dangerous enemy— trace of blood still beneath his nose.

"I'm sorry Gerik, but I…"

"Hey Joshua, it wouldn't change even if we do this."

"It's the only way Gerik. I shall make you forget."

"Nah, you won't take this heat off my head with sword fighting, you'll just exhaust me." Gerik sighed. "Look, I know it's shameful for us who came from Jehenna to be affected by such heat in different country, but maybe this 'darkness' thing is what's causing this strange change in weather. The sun is so hot it's killing me!" he rubbed his forehead.

Joshua's eyes widened. "The… sun?"

"Of course the sun." Gerik gave a suspicious look at the swordmaster who slowly abandoned his attacking stance. "What else is hot?"

_She is… _"Yeah, the sun! Whew hot huh?" he gave a nervous laugh.

"Luckily for us the frelian knight cooked fish for us, of course in frelian style. So have you called the cleric yet?"

"Um, no."

"Still busy with her antidotes? Don't worry, you go and rest. I'll pick her up" and Gerik made his way.

Fear went to Joshua's face, terrified that another will see her in such a state, he immediately blocked Gerik's direction.

"**_I'll_ **wake her up."

"C'mon Joshua, just minutes ago you were staring dizzily with dripping blood under your nose."

"Don't worry about it, I'm fine. Besides, that frelian food is delicious, innit? So **_you_** go ahead."

"Joshua," he patted the other man's shoulder. "don't push yourself. I'm doing you a favor here."

"I'm fine, I tell you!"

Natasha woke up from the noise of argument between the two men outside her tent.

"Call it in the air!"

"Wipe the blood off first man!" Gerik handed a small bandage.

"Blood?" Natasha got out of her tent. "What blood?"

Joshua quickly turned to look at her. _Thank goodness she's wearing her robe!_

"Joshua let me see." She approached him, her hands gently reached for his face and he turned pink when he was forced to look down her.

"Did someone punch you in the face? I don't see any bruise. What caused it?"

_What caused it?_ The image flashed back. He covered his nose as he backed away from her.

"Joshua?" said the confused woman.

"H-H-H-H-HOT!" Burst of blood from his nose sent him flying in the air and landing headfirst onto the ground. He heard her cried his name out before he passed out.

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	3. Mother and Child

Sorry, I kinda screwed up last time,hehe.. So I had to re-write this, the last reminiscence chapter.

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"Reminiscence: Mother and Child"

Joshua was unable to save his mother at their battle in Jehanna. He held her in his arms and because of such desperate situation; had to leave her body in their burning castle. He got his revenge when he killed Caellach, but it wasn't enough to take the pain away. The happy Joshua changed after that dreadful day. He just stayed in his tent and refused to eat anything at all.

It was five days after that battle in Jehanna. Joshua still lay on his bed, his head resting on his wrist.

"Joshua," Natasha called as she sat beside him, holding a cup of soup. "Joshua, please eat."

His eyes avoided hers and answered, "…No."

"Just a few spoons will do."

"….No."

"Nothing will change even if you continue on like this." She said, trying to snap him out of his madness but he just turned away.

Natasha bit her lip as she tried to think of another way to convince him to eat. Then finally she said, "Joshua, let's make a bet."

"A… bet?" He echoed.

Her hope rose when she saw him cock his head. "Yes, a bet." She repeated. He slowly turned and looked at her with a glint of excitement in his eyes. "If I win," she continued, "you'll eat."

He arched an eyebrow. "And If I win?"

She took a breath, but when she couldn't think of any she answered, "We'll gamble until I win."

He snorted in protest. "What a bargain." Then his eyes shifted to her bended knees and suddenly, there's a creeping urge to cuddle himself to it. He pulled out a coin from his hat beside him then handed it to her.

"I'm heads."

She laid the cup down before taking the coin. His head slid from the pillow to the side of her Knees. But he stopped; although the urge was strong he managed to restrain his self. Natasha flipped the coin, unluckily it was heads.

"Joshua, again."

He didn't bother look at her. "I'm always heads."

And she flipped the coin again. She tossed it three times and at last, Tails. Struck with happiness, she immediately lifted the cup and said, "I won, so you eat."

With a weary sigh he forced himself, and with her help, to sit up. He has no appetite, still he took the cup from her and he began to eat slowly. Lute suddenly came and asked for Natasha's assistance.

"Sorry to interrupt, but Lady L'Arachel, with Dozla and Rennac, had gone out to buy some supplies and Colm almost burned Moulder's stock of robes… along with Moulder."

The irony of being a healer was they couldn't heal their selves. So Natasha stood up, took another look at Joshua, then she left.

He continued to eat. Every spoon of soup made him feel worse than before. But he can't stop eating. He won't stop eating. Like he said; he never worm out of a bet. Natasha came back after a few minutes. Joshua lay down on his bed again and the cup of soup was empty.

Night came and Natasha couldn't sleep. She was too worried for him that she couldn't even sleep for a second. She decided to peek in his tent and she saw him shivering under his blanket. She went to the supplies to borrow a bedpan but the supplier came out and said that there was none. Natasha noticed that he was hugging a young fox.

"Aye. The young fella's cold so I'm sharing me body heat." He explained.

She went back to Joshua. Although she already gave him her own blanket, he continued to shiver. Like the supplier to the fox, Natasha lay down and wrapped her arms around him. In his dreams, his mother did just the same. And in his dreams, he was but a child again.

"_Joshua, my child. You haven't changed. Still cuddling to me in your time of trouble." _She said in gentle voice.

"_Mom, I had been foolish." _He said. His face buried in her chest.

"_And why is that my child?"_

"_I ran away… I left my responsibilities… I left you alone."_

"_But you did that in order to be a great king."_

"_I shouldn't have left."_

"_Do you really hate this journey of yours? Did you not find any happiness in it?"_

He opened his eyes_._ Now a grown man, he looked up to his mother_. "I… No, I don't regret going in this journey. In this journey I learned a lot of things, found a lot of friends and I met…"_

His mother smiled and hugged him closer to her chest.

"_I'm sorry. Here you are again in my darkest hour but I wasn't there when you needed me."_

"_Nonsense, you came for me and that's all that matters. I'm proud of what you've become Joshua, I shall be waiting for your return home."_

"Mom…" He whispered in the silence of the night.

Next morning Natasha woke up to an awkward feeling. She saw Joshua, unconsciously burying his face against her chest.

"Soft…"

Natasha immediately took her staff and gave him a strong thwack in the head. Her staff landed hard on his head and it made a loud WHACK!

He leaped up on his bed, placing a hand on his head. "Ow! What the--"

He looked up and saw Natasha standing by the entrance of his tent. A dainty vision she was. Both hands tightly closed on her side as if restraining something deep within her. Her normally pale face was red with anger… or something else? Joshua couldn't decide.

"I'll buy you a bedpan!" She grumbled.

Openmouthed, Joshua stared, wide eyes as she hastily left his tent. Then his eyes narrowed and a wolf's smile crept to his lips.

"So _**that's **_what's soft."

That same day, the happy Joshua came back. He went out his tent and gambled with everyone he saw on the field. Of course, the others were happy that the gambler was back to his normal self. He was having fun that it seemed like the time passed by quickly. Soon the sky was dark and the moon showed itself. Joshua was about to enter his tent but stopped when he saw bundle of blankets neatly piled inside. He looked at Natasha who was sitting by the campfire, playing with the fox. She caught him staring and then she smiled shyly. Guess she couldn't find a bedpan.

"_Mom… I met this girl. She's...strange compared to the others. I'm sure you'll like her._

"_Really? I would like to know her name."_

He smiled back at Natasha.

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	4. Author's Note

**A huge thanks for all of those who left reviews and for all of those who followed this story! **

**I'm not going to continue this story that's for sure. I've changed a lot since then and this type of romance doesn't really appeal to me anymore. I also noticed that I made a lot of mistakes but instead of deleting the whole story I'm just going to keep the chapters that I kinda like. I still love this pairing after all. **

**Again thank you and bye-bye.**


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